Important Moments in Robbie Schaefer's Life

May 26, 1966: Robbie is born in Washington, D.C. at the Columbia Hospital for Women. He is presently a man.

1973: At the age of seven, Robbie asks his parents for a guitar. They buy one and arrange for lessons. Two weeks later, Robbie has mastered the G, C, and D chords, thereby qualifying him to play folk music. A week later he learns a fourth chord, thereby qualifying him as a folk visionary.

1975: After living for the previous five years in Madras, India, and Geneva, Switzerland, Robbie's family returns to the U.S. and settles in McLean, VA. At Lewinsville Elementary School he strikes up a friendship with Mike Clem. Clem introduces Robbie to a phenomenon known as "rock and roll," including artists such as The Beatles and Creedence Clearwater Revival. Robbie's parents are relieved to see him move on from his "interminable Captain and Tenille phase." Mike and Robbie start a band. The 3rd-grade chicks go wild.

1977: Robbie's parents won't let him go to the KISS concert.

1984: Robbie graduates from McLean High School. During his time there he meets Julie Murphy (who attends neighboring Marshall High School).

1989: Robbie graduates with a B.A. in Telecommunication from James Madison University. Yeah, it took him five years. So sue him. During his time there he meets Eddie Hartness.

1991: Robbie releases his first solo cd, Someday. After selling tens of copies, Eddie From Ohio forms, rescuing Robbie from his fledgling solo career. The 3rd- grade chicks go wild.

1994-2004: Robbie splits his time between goofing off with the band and goofing off with his three sons, Noah, Ethan, and Owen. He has a blast growing up with both families.

2004: Robbie releases his second solo cd, In the Flesh. The 3rd-grade chicks are all in their mid-thirties now, but they're still pretty excited.

F.A.Q's

How long have you been playing the guitar?
I started playing the guitar when I was 7 years old. I took lessons until I was 14. Since then I've just been listening and picking up techniques on my own. All in all, I've been playing for over 31 years. Ouch.

What kind of guitar do you play and what kind of strings do you use?
I play a Collings Advanced Jumbo with a sunburst finish and a Taylor 710-BCE limited edition. I use D'Addario phosphor bronze strings (medium gauge) on both guitars.

Who are your musical influences?
Well, that changes periodically. I am always discovering new music. Paul Simon, however, is a constant inspiration. He writes with such depth and emotional economy, and his songs grow in breadth with every album. Wow. Just
plain wow.

You're such an upbeat guy. Why are all your songs so depressing?
It's called compartmentalization. Try it sometime.

Which of your songs are based on personal experience?
None. Absolutely none. Haven't you noticed? They're all from the point of view of a woman! How on earth could they be about me? How!? Next question.

Why are you bald?
I'm not bald. Most of my hair migrated to my back when I was 9.

What do you order at Starbucks?
First of all, I'm glad I asked that question, because Starbucks, while being an evil bloodsucking gargantuan monument to corporate greed, is an essential part of my day. I order a double espresso, or doppio. It has a pure caramel-like sweetness with a bitter finish that is delectable. It's spicy aroma will permeate your kitchen and your senses (© Starbucks Coffee Company). Besides, I get to say "double" in Italian about twice a day. Can't beat it with a stick.

Has anyone ever told you that you sound like James Taylor?
Aren't you the schmuck who requested "Freebird" last night?

ROBBIE'S FAVORITES OF 2006

CD'S:

1. JOSH RITTER--ANIMAL YEARS. This is the best and most unique artist I have heard in years. Josh Ritter is literate, relevant, and authentic. The songs are deep and full of honesty and wisdom and the album sounds at once carefully thought out and recorded in a flurry of inspiration. There is a timeless quality to the music and I believe it will prove to be just that. Yes, it's really THAT good.

2. SAMITE--TUNULA ENO. My other Great Find this year. Samite is a musician from Uganda who now lives in Ithaca, NY. He sings mostly in his native tongue. His music--a combination of African percussion, guitars, finger pianos, and flute--is instantly moving and mesmerizing. This cd was recorded a few years ago during the last year of his wife's struggle with cancer. But, there is nothing somber here. There is only joy, celebration, and soul. My 9 year old son started spontaneously dancing around the living room 10 seconds after I put this album on and neither of us can seem to stop listening to it.

3. LORI MCKENNA--BITTERTOWN. Wow! What a singer! And what songs! I came across Lori through another great songwriter, Mark Erelli. This is a stunningly beautiful album with great production from Lorne Entress. Call it folk/country/americana . . . whatever. I call it great. Lori has since had several of these songs recorded by Faith Hill, gone on Oprah, and had 'Bittertown' re-released on Warner Brothers, showing that, for once, the mainstream music industry got it right.

4. SIGUR ROS--TAKK . . . For the record, I don't like this kind of music. It is ethereal, linear, slow-building stuff. Think Coldplay with less structure and sung in Icelandic. Yes, these guys are from Iceland, and despite everything I've just said, their music hits me like a ton of bricks. It feels channeled more than written. Like they opened a portal to the other side and are ballsy enough to give us a glimpse. Wild, remarkable music. Open your mind and give it a try.

BOOKS:

1. GILEAD by MARILYNNE ROBINSON. Won the Pulitzer Prize for literature. This is instantly one of the best and most important books I've ever read. Which is why it's the only one listed here. I didn't read much else this year and anything I did read paled in comparison. It is the story of Reverend John Ames, a preacher in Gilead, Iowa, who is writing an account of his life to leave to his young 7-year old son. It unfolds slowly, as a life does, and deep and universal truths are revealed and discovered bit by bit, and yet, the full meaning of the book (and of course, John Ames's life) is not fully understood until the very end. The language is stunning. The insight into the human spirit is profound. It took me 9 months to finish this book because I could hardly breathe through much of it. It apparently took Marilynne Robinson about 10 years to write Gilead, which doesn't surprise me one bit. It is a masterpiece.